Why Garlic Bread is the Greatest Kristy L., 811

A Mildly Satirical Opinion Piece on Why Garlic Bread is the best.

Garlic bread. We all know the buttery sensation of tasting garlic bread. If you don’t, the best option right now is for you to close this article, go out to your nearest garlic bread-serving restaurant, and order some. Garlic bread is bread, usually a baguette or sourdough bread topped with garlic, olive oil, butter, and more often than not, chives. Occasionally, it is topped with cheeses such as mozzarella, cheddar, or feta. It is grilled or broiled until it becomes the perfection you know as garlic bread.

Garlic bread is significantly better than other bread types for many reasons. It can be served cold, warm, hot or burnt. As a result of it being capable of being served cold, you can store it for as long as a day. That may not seem like much, but garlic bread is so good you will probably finish it in 30 minutes or less.

Furthermore, garlic bread purchased from a supermarket has proven to be just as delicious as garlic bread fresh out of the oven. There is no need to buy bread and top it when you can just pop frozen garlic bread into the oven for 10 minutes and then eat it.

Garlic bread is so popular, there are even phone cases for it. You can buy a garlic bread phone case for $25. Although this seems like a lot for a phone case, you would probably spend 5 times as much on garlic bread itself.

Garlic bread can also be used as a defense mechanism. On the assumption that you believe in vampires, you can use your garlicky breath to defend yourself against vampires. If you don’t however, throwing frozen pieces of garlic bread at your enemies is also a great way to defend yourself.

Not only this, garlic bread is also a great friend. Crying about your problems to garlic bread can greatly relieve stress, and afterward, you can eat the slice of garlic bread to ease your hunger. This may backfire, however, due to the strong fragrance of the garlic bread causing you to eat it before you can release your emotions.

In conclusion, garlic bread is a blessing to this earth. For instance, it is allowed to be eaten while cold, warm, or hot. In addition to this, garlic bread from the supermarket is equally as great as buttery garlic bread served fresh out of the oven. Garlic bread phone cases exist as well, and they are another blessing to this earth. Additionally, garlic bread has been proven to save lives against vampires. Garlic bread can also comfort you like no one else has. As you can see, these reasons strongly support why garlic bread is superior.