(For the uncontrollable profanity will never run amok again.)
Hi, how are you all doing? I understand that you might be thinking, “ I clicked on this cuz I thought this was gonna be funny. This guy’s just talking about taking away our freedom of speech!” True. I had the exact same internal monologue as you. Wait that’s only me. Kevin, you’re digressing! Thanks Kevin, you always know how to keep me in check.
Back on topic here, I guess you’ve clicked this section to learn how to turn that filthy mouth of yours into a masterful hole of infinite phrases. After this you will be a manipulator of mouth movement, not a professional profanity protector. Let’s refine our disgusting modern mouths into pots of perfection.
However, before we begin our complete change of personalities… I mean corrections of ourselves… I mean… Yeah I’m out of ideas at the moment. Before we begin, I would like to introduce myself. If you couldn’t tell from the section you just clicked on, my name is Kevin Zhang. But you can call me whatever you like! (Depending on how vulgar the name gets. The line is drawn very easily so be warned.) I am currently, as of January 2017, in 7th grade. You do not need to know anything else. Other than the fact that I’m a male… maybe. So here we go.
Here’s my list of tricks and tips of how to change originally vulgar words into works of art, with a list of some of the ones I use almost regularly :3 :
- Think of a word that may rhyme or is fairly similar to that of the swear
- Next, think of a clever way to place that word in. Keep in mind that the word should preferably be short and easy to remember so that you can say it easily.
- Have fun with it. Sometimes the new phrases can add an element of creativity to it, giving it some time will definitely be better.
“Don’t think too much about it. Just have fun.”
- Some guy who is really cheesy. Yeah I just said that.
Now the one thing that you have all been waiting for, my ways to say swears:
- What the friggely diggely!?
- What the fudge!?
- Holy Cheese Sticks!
- You BON BON!
- Krispy Fries just crispy fries
- You huge gluteus maximus!
- And my personal favorite, HOLY POOP!
Thank you for your time.